I have been feeling down and out for a while, and I’ve known that one can’t just magically feel better with some magic cure or a simple mantra that you can say over and over. To truly be well within it takes work, it takes conscious decision and I think that is something that was missed out in service growing up as a kid. Though the entire structure of how church, family and community seems to be all but lost; I will take my stand to be thankful that those before us, did indeed; have a sense of that and we have at least some information we can put together from history and from The Word.
In my walk to find my peace and standing not only in my spiritual walk, but also my daily walk; I have come to some realities that I had kept hidden from myself for sometime; one of those realities being that I have allowed events in my life to dictate how I live, rather than the lessons that were taught to me; of course this is a result of numerous things that all wrap up my history. The baggage of not only my past but the lives of others I grew up with, from family to past friends, family friends, people in the community and so on; will be apart of me forever, but it is up to me what I allow to dictate my actions and decisions.
As spoken truly on the tv show ‘Girl Meets World’:
“People change people…”
-Corey Matthews
Rather it is in a good way or bad, we are always affected and affecting those around us; it is evident rather in small ways or huge ones that we affect each other with anger, sadness; kindness; care; love; compassion; hatred; ect. Rather we live with someone everyday or just see them at the library, we affect one another, and to think we can’t or won’t is, in my opinion; a foolish thought to think. One should always try to be aware and work on being solid in what you believe in.
I, myself used to strive to be a very positive person, however I came to realize in a hard way that positive people tend to get beat on a lot emotionally. You see a person who’s positive and its almost human nature for others to either gravitate towards them, avoid them or try to cut them down, it’s all about how you allow things to affect you. (Please don’t think you can do this on your own like I did)
When I was younger I remember hearing the classic warning of making sure to choose your friends wisely, that was a big thing, and as a kid I figured it just meant don’t hang around the ‘bad’ kids who were nothing but trouble, but as I got older I realize its far more complicated than that. Choosing friends is a very vital and delicate thing, because these are the people you choose to influence you; these are the people who you will choose to trust and be open with; people who you know will affect you in some way or another; we still must be mindful as to what we allow to change us; because even friends can be a bad influence as could we to them.
I found later on as I got older that relationships are tough, being friends with someone isn’t simple or always easy (maybe in special accounts it can be) but I must be intentional as to what I allow myself to be influenced by even with my own friends.
I have not been a super positive person for a while, yet I want to be. After talking to some people I realize that I need to work harder at being positive, not just towards others but to myself. It’s easier for me to be positive towards others, but when it comes to myself I have not been doing a good job. Therefore I choose Positivity, so that I can influence and affect others (And myself) in a more positive way ❤
~JMW
A Writer's Journal 